


Push and Pull

by gayspaceace



Series: Swedish Fish [2]
Category: No Fandom
Genre: Dealing with Internalized Homophobia but like lowkey, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Praise Kink, Present Tense, ur gonna see a willy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 15:19:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayspaceace/pseuds/gayspaceace





	Push and Pull

The room slips by in a whirl and Ivan loves him back. The thought makes him grin through the kiss and Ivan halts, looking pathetic.

“What?”  
Fish doesn’t reply, he just laughs before sitting up shakily on his knees, sinking into the cushy mattress.  
“I want to try something. If you’re uncomfortable, just tell me.”  
Ivan swallows and then nods, stiff and strange and that just won’t do.

“Promise me?”  
“Yeah.”

Ivan looks up for only a second, but it’s as good as he can expect so Fish carefully reaches forward before pausing.

He leans back instead.  
“Take off your jumper.”  
Ivan just stares at him, words hanging in the air.  
“You don’t have to. We can do something else-“

Ivan tears away the cable knit jumper, tossing it aside easily.  
“I, uh, want to.” He looks nervous and desperate all at once, tension lining his shoulders.  
“That’s good.” His mouth feels dry, “You’re allowed to want.”  
He moves forward, feeling rather like a pawn on a chessboard, slow but steadfast.  
“Your belt.”  
It’s a ragged piece of leather, battered and soft. The clasp tinkles quiet and loud as Ivan fumbles with it and then it thuds to the floor.  
“Lie down.”  
He hesitates for barely a breath and then Fish is watching him awkwardly recline and he moves to sit beside him.  
“It’s okay. It’s just me.”  
Ivan closes his eyes.  
“You’re beautiful. Did you know that? It’s devastating how pretty your eyes are in the light. You can see little bits of gold in them.”  
Ivan shuts his eyes tighter, but Fish presses on. He needs to.  
“Your hands are brilliant too.” And at that, a small smile splits across Ivan’s face.  
“What?”  
Fish takes Ivan’s hand, fitting it neatly into his own.  
“I’m serious! They’re nice to hold.”  
“They’re covered in calluses and cuts most of the time.”  
He presses a kisses to the back of his hand. “That’s how I know they’re yours.”

Ivan just flushes. His eyes are still closed and his other hand has drifted up to hide his face.  
“I like your lips, but I think you knew that already. No, no, I’m giving you too much credit.” Ivan cracks open an eye to glare at him.  
“You always bite your bottom lip when you read the news in the morning and it’s extremely distracting when I’m trying to make breakfast. Please don’t stop doing it just because I pointed it out.”  
He huffs out, “You’re ridiculous.” 

But there’s no heat behind it. Just Ivan fumbling for cover.  
Fish sinks even closer, tracing along the lows and highs of his body. He pokes at a hip bone. His hand drifts across the plane of Ivan’s stomach, pressing against the warmth, feeling the fabric of his shirt. He feels almost lost in his discoveries until Ivan breathes and Fish remembers what he came to do.

“I wish I had more words.” He swallows. “There aren’t enough. There’s not enough.” Fish repeats listlessly. And Ivan opens his eyes, peeking behind his hand.  
“W-what?”  
“There’s not enough words to explain how wonderful you are. I wish I had more.”  
“I’m not-“  
Fish pins him with his gaze, silently daring him to continue.  
“You are. Even if you’re too stubborn to see it.”  
Ivan still doesn’t believe him, it’s plainly written across his face and Fish isn’t sure if he ever will.  
“Can you take off your shirt?”  
Ivan sits up and stalls before tearing it away.  
“Is this okay?” Fish asks because Ivan is trembling and it’s light out, afternoon sun filling the room with a warm glow.  
“Yes.” His voice is tense and there’s a determined set to his jaw like Fish is going to hit him.  
“Tell me, what do you want me to do next?”

Fish feels a little like he’s standing at the edge of a cliff, waiting for Ivan to form a reply. It’s his move.  
He fiddles with his fingers.  
“I, um- I want- Kiss me.” Is what he finally comes up with, fervently avoiding his gaze.  
Fish gives his nose a chaste peck. Ivan scowls. “I said kiss me,” he mumbles.  
“You’ll have to be more specific. There’s a lot of ways I could kiss you.”  
“My mouth.”  
Fish gently presses a kiss to his lips, looking annoyingly smug at the anguish in Ivan’s face.  
“What? Was that not what you wanted?”  
“Harder,” he grinds out, as if it pains him to speak.  
Fish obeys and this time, it’s a proper kiss, one where he’s wound a hand into Ivan’s hair and sucks at his bottom lip. 

He pulls back and Ivan is devastating to look at. Fish waits.  
“Touch me.”  
He waits a little more.  
“Please.”  
He places a single finger on his shoulder.

“Fish, please,” Ivan whines.  
“I’m touching you like you asked.”  
“I’m gonna murder you,” he grumbles. And then exhales and sort of looks like he’s going to die on the spot.  
He decides to grant Ivan some mercy and moves his hand down to his chest.  
“Here?”  
“Touch my dick, you fuck.”  
Fish grins and pushes Ivan back down onto the bed. “Was that so hard?”  
And then giggles when he glances down.

“Well-“  
“Don’t even think about it.”

Fish undoes the front of his trousers and Ivan lifts his hips up and suddenly he’s a lot more exposed. He traces lazily along his pelvis, occasionally dipping nearer and nearer the bulge in Ivan’s pants.  
“Fish,” Ivan chokes out. “You’re going to kill me. I swear to-“  
He finally tugs away the straining fabric and out springs his dick.  
“Fish-“  
He wraps his hand around him and starts to move at last. Ivan keens, hand clamped over his mouth, trying in vain to keep quiet.  
“I want to hear you.”  
Ivan’s hand tightens into a fist.  
“You always make such pretty noises for me. Please,” and now it’s Fish who’s begging.  
A soft cry escapes him as Fish pumps him harder, smearing pre-cum along his shaft.  
“You’re doing so good, love. Look at you. You’re so beautiful like this.” 

A half-hearted laugh catches in Ivan’s throat. A few tears are leaking from the corner of his eyes, streaming down his face. Fish just bends to kiss them away, at a somewhat awkward angle, but not caring in the slightest.  
“It’s okay.” He tastes salt and skin. “It’s okay, I promise.”  
Ivan breathes harder, panting freely now. His hips jerk mindlessly into Fish’s touch. 

“Nothing else matters except you.”


End file.
